wake-up call

sad but true.

Tumatanda ka na, ‘tol.

Nasa Friday Magic Madness na yung mga paborito mong kanta. Nakaka-relate ka na sa Classic MTV. Lesbiana na yung kinaaaliwan mong child star dati. Nanay o Tatay na lagi ang role ng crush na crush mong matinee idol noon.

Dati, pag may panot, sisigaw ka agad ng "PENDONG!". Ngayon, pag may sumisigaw nun, ikaw na yung napapraning. Parang botika na ang cabinet mo – may multivitamins, vitamin E, vitamin C, royal jelly, tsaka ginko biloba.

Dati, laging may inuman. Sa inuman, may lechon, sisig, kaldereta, inihaw na liempo, pusit, at kung anu-ano pa. Ngayon, nagkukumpulan na lang kayo ng mga kasama mo sa Starbucks at oorder ng tea.

Wala na ang mga kaibigan mo noon. Ang dating masasayang tawanan ng barkada sa canteen, napalitan na ng walang katapusang pagrereklamo tungkol sa kumpanya ninyo. Wala na ang best friend mo na lagi mong pinupuntahan kapag may problema ka. Ang lagi mo na lang kausap ngayon ay ang kaopisina mong hindi ka sigurado kung binebenta ka sa iba pag nakatalikod ka. Ang hirap nang magtiwala. Mahirap nang makahanap ng totoong kaibigan. Hindi mo kayang pagkatiwalaan ang kasama mo araw-araw sa opisina. Kung sabagay, nagkakilala lang kayo dahil gusto ninyong kumita ng pera at umakyat sa tinatawag nilang "corporate ladder". Anumang pagkakaibigang umusbong galing sa pera at ambisyon ay hindi talaga totoong pagkakaibigan. Pera din at ambisyon ang sisira sa inyong dalawa.

Pera. Pera na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay mo.

Alipin ka na ng Meralco, PLDT, SkyCable, Globe, Smart, at Sun. Alipin ka ng Midnight Madness. Alipin ka ng tollgate sa expressway. Alipin ka ng credit card mo. Alipin ka ng ATM. Alipin ka ng BIR.

Dati-rati masaya ka na sa isang platong instant pancit canton. Ngayon, dapat may kasamang italian chicken ang fettucine alfredo mo. Masaya ka na noon pag nakakapag-ober-da-bakod kayo para makapagswimming. Ngayon, ayaw mong lumangoy kung hindi Boracay o Puerto Galera ang lugar. Dati, sulit na sulit na sa yo ang gin pomelo. Ngayon, pagkatapos ng ilang bote ng red wine, maghahanap ka ng San Mig Light o Vodka Cruiser.

Wala ka nang magawa. Sumasabay ang lifestyle mo sa income mo. Nagtataka ka kung bakit hindi ka pa rin nakakaipon kahit tumataas ang sweldo mo. Yung mga bagay na gusto mong bilhin dati na sinasabi mong hindi mo kailangan, abot-kamay mo na. Pero kahit nasa iyo na ang mga gusto mong bilhin, hindi ka pa rin makuntento.

Saan ka ba papunta?

Tol, gumising ka. Hindi ka nabuhay sa mundong ito para maging isa lang sa mga baterya ng mga machines sa Matrix. Hanapin mo ang dahilan kung bakit nilagay ka rito. Kung ang buhay mo ngayon ay uulit-ulit lang hanggang maging singkwenta anyos ka na, magsisisi ka. Lumingon ka kung paano ka nagsimula, isipin ang mga tao at mga bagay na nagpasaya sa ‘yo. Balikan mo sila.

Ikaw ang nagbago, hindi ang mundo.

in awe

never thought id really be somebody's princess...
but i am and i find myself thinking what did i do to deserve such

you've been nothing but perfect.

survey... :)

WOULD U LIKE A GUY IF...

Suplado: i like them up to a certain point :)
Mr. Shades: as long as he knows when to take them off
Bad boy: for play-time lang siya
Masculado: i prefer the chubby ones :)
Guys who give flowers: and chocolates and everything sweet and thoughful. it's the thought that counts
Smiling face: of course!!
Hiphop: not too keen on this type
Guys who ask permission before courting: duh?! mga SMB (style mo bulok)
Has earring/s: okay with me
Long - hair: i USED to like one
Bald : me like! :)
Antipatiko: not so much
Torpe: i refuse to answer this question =)
Computer - games addict: as long as he has a life outside of it
Basketball player: same as computer geek :)
Mr. Count: what's this?!
Mestizo: amen!!!!
Guys who sing well: yes please!!!!
What song do you want him to sing: U2's With or Without you *sigh*
Quiet / tame: panis laway ko dito
Cum laude: as long as he's smart, it's okay
Formal: not really
Friendly: of course!!!
Mr. I have an opinion about anything & everything: as long as he doesn't impose his opinions on me
Motorcyle guy: YEAH!!!! - ducati comes to mind
Rocker: hrrrmmmmm
Skate boarder: nope
Alaskador (prankster): bagay kami nito - though once in a while lang
Flirt:as long as he flirts with me only
Mr. Campus Crush and he doesnt know he is: never wanted this guy
Bigotilyo: okay lang
Painter: artistic is good with me
Galante: shempre
Mr. Love Letter: once in a while i love getting mushy letters

QUESTION: have you found your ideal guy already?
I got more than what I thought I wanted :)

question/realization

is it possible to not stop falling in love with someone?

i used to think it isn't possible. yeah despite my optimism, there's this bit of pessimism that refused to accept the happily ever after concept. that i am a woman of substance, independent, in control, and would not allow myself to be reduced to such mush.

all that changed when my baby came into my life. to those who know me well, the fact that i call him baby is pretty telling. :D i may be one of the mushiest people ever - it only takes someone to bring out the mushy gushy girly side of me.

hard-earned lesson # 2: being mushy is NOT a weakness.

i love you sooooooooooooooooooooooo much baby! wala ng pakialamanan.

when i saw you in a different light....

GREAT DAYS AHEAD (8/20/04)

Like most people, there are days that we feel empty and lost and absolutely have no idea how to overcome it. Fortunately somewhere along the way, there will be blessings in disguise.

Thankfully, I've risen above that moody phase (as my brother calls it), because of the inspiring and thoughtful words people gave me....

I've always believed in the power of words... How it can make an impact and take those mood swings away... And when you feel the sincerity within, it makes you forget your problems and smile like crazy...As if nothing happened at all.

But by far the most comforting words anyone has ever said to me was: Relax, my cha.

And just like that, the sun was shining down on me.

Thank you.

bittersweet

A few years ago, I remember telling my mother that I wouldn't want any other priest or religious official to officiate my wedding except for the Holy Father.

That wouldn't come true now that Pope John Paul II already joined our Father in Heaven.

Karol Wojtyla was indeed a man of God. Despite the traumatic experiences he encountered before he reached 20, he maintained a child-like exuberance and a special gift with people, especially the youth. He made his presence known by travelling around the world, reaching out to the faithful, preaching God's word and in turn, they welcomed him with open arms. He was a living example of a devout Catholic - one who followed the Lord without question, and forgave those who gravely offended him.

Pope John Paul II was such a remarkable man. He lived a full life and served his Creator with utmost humility. He will always be remembered and loved.

Thank you for touching our lives with your presence.